I know, it's been ages since I've posted. Here's the most recent column from that's Beijing. And good news: The good folks at that magazine have decided to publish a book of my collected columns over the last six-plus years. Should be out early next year!
My Chinese friends never seem to tire of talking about regional stereotypes. That this subject should continue to amuse surprises me still—first of all because the caricatures haven’t really changed in the many years I’ve lived here, and second, because there’s simply so little disagreement about the stock stereotypes. Strangely enough, you’ll hear very little grumbling—indeed, you’ll frequently see nods of agreement—even from those people who are the object of these often unflattering generalizations. A notable exception is the Henanese, who in recent years have come in for particularly bad treatment, and have protested with appropriate indignation. It’s in the spirit of humor that I offer the lines of doggerel below. I intend no insult to anyone (except maybe the Shanghainese).
In Dongbei, whence the Manchus came, the men do like their liquor.
While effusive with their friendship, with their enmity they’re quicker
Though they’re honest and straightforward, at the slightest provocation
They’ll show why they’ve been slandered as the Klingons of this nation.
The leggy Dongbei ladies for their beauty are renowned,
(I attest that in my travels, few more fetching have I found.)
But they suffer from one drawback, and it’s very sad to tell—
When they open up their mouths to speak, they break that magic spell.
The stalwart Shandong people grow as hearty as their scallions
On their noodle-heavy diet they’ve been bred as strong as stallions.
They’re known for dogged loyalty; they’re known as trusty folks,
But a bit slow on the uptake—thus, the butt of many jokes.
In Hunan and in Hubei in the country’s center-south
They say the people there can really run it at the mouth
In Hubei in particular, the saying is often heard
That a single Hubei codger can drown out a nine-head bird.
The Hunanese, in temperament, are piquant as their dishes,
Like duo jiao yu tou—capsicum with slow-braised heads of fishes.
Add to this mix the province’s infernal summer heat,
And you see why Hunan’s Xiang Jun had the Taiping rebels beat.
The teahouses of Chengdu represent the Sichuan Way:
The women toil in earnest while the men drink tea and play.
The Chuan hou plays at mahjong as the Chuan mei cleans and mends,
And like the Sichuan peppers do, she burns it at both ends.
The Pearl River Delta in the southlands of Guangzhou
Is home to China’s most industrious people, as you know:
They’re scrappy and they’re gritty and they’re free of all pretension,
And they’ll make a meal of any living beast you’d care to mention.
They say that Henan people are a sly and cunning lot.
But my ancestors are from there—proving some, at least, are not.
My co-provincials countrywide are blamed for every ill,
While provinces that suck as bad get let off easy still.
The Shanghainese are philistines, and this they’ll gladly own:
Commercial instincts permeate them to the very bone.
Their pride in Shanghai’s petit bourgeois ethos is immense
But what they lack in culture, they make up in common sense.
As you might well have expected, I have saved the best for last,
For my love for Beijing’s people is immovably steadfast.
From their gargling r-drenched accent to their dry sardonic wit,
The denizens of Jing Town are the dope, the bomb, the shit.
Beiingers love to gab, and though they’re lazy and they’re slow,
There’s nothing about politics that they aren’t apt to know.
They may complain a lot about the traffic and the air
But scratch beneath the cynicism and you’ll find they care.
So be grateful that you live here, and be clear on what it means.
Be grateful you don’t live among Klingons, or philistines.
Be grateful for the legacy of Yuan and Ming and Qing—
And most of all be grateful for the people of Beijing.
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Posted by: runescape accounts | June 18, 2010 at 05:36 PM
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Posted by: rs gold | June 18, 2010 at 05:36 PM
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Posted by: wow gold | June 18, 2010 at 05:37 PM
Thanks for the article. Great to hear how well it worked.
Posted by: graphic design and marketing services | June 22, 2010 at 05:32 PM
Thanks for the article. Great to hear how well it worked.
Posted by: Round and Brown | June 30, 2010 at 04:54 PM
Nice and interesting Provincial Poetry,about the chinese persons,Thanks for joining us.
Posted by: Modelle milano | July 16, 2010 at 05:30 PM
Nice and superb post about the Provincial Poetry, i really likt these type of poetry, Thanks for giving this interesting blog.
Posted by: Modelle milano | August 09, 2010 at 07:47 PM
I like the song Your vision.and i am a fans of tangchao.
be well to meet you!
Posted by: 李远策 | October 14, 2010 at 04:30 PM
Really nice song / poetry there...thanks for the share and maybe you'll come back to blog a little more :)
Posted by: Michelle | December 02, 2010 at 07:39 PM
and feel it's all Terribly Exciting. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go help burn all their houses to the ground while they're in Dalian, in order to
Posted by: Microsoft Office 2010 | May 04, 2011 at 05:55 PM
I have only had the opportunity to see the Beijing area, for the most part everyone was very friendly. I had such a wonderful time that I will be going back.
Next time I wish to check out the southern area of the country.
Posted by: Beijing Airport hotels | July 03, 2011 at 04:29 AM
Well, very good post with informative information. I really appreciate the fact that you approach these topics from a stand point of knowledge and information. This is the first time, I visited at your site and became your fan. You are bookmarked. Please keep on posting.
Posted by: Adidas Porsche Design | July 05, 2011 at 08:43 AM
good article
thanks for your share
http://www.skf-bearing.cc
Posted by: swiss1 | October 26, 2011 at 01:47 PM